First off, there's no carnival this weekend, so I'm just going to call this my Thursday post and cover a few things, saving some stuff for Sunday so it's not too boring. And by all that I mean I left what was supposed to be an extra post unfinished for so long that it's now a normal post.
It has come to my attention (and by that I mean I was bluntly informed) that many of my posts are rife with factual errors, spelling mistakes, and mislabeled pictures. Oops.
Next, I recently discovered that as a perk of my position as Minister of the Blog I have minions! That's right, there are teammates assigned to help me. So expect posts of greatly improved quality as soon as I can convince someone else to do one.
Finally, we are in desperate need of snow here in Maine, so do a snow dance for us. I recommend burning klister and rollerskis to try and appease Ullr, the pagan god of skiing and peppermint schnapps. Or if that's not your thing ship spare rock skis and running shoes to Bates box 456.
Anyways, without further ado, here's the Juniors:
Laurel Fiddler
Class of 2017, age 20Hometown: Mammoth, CA
Major: English
Favorite Song: In da Club by 50 Cent
Dream Date: Princess Snugglebuns (her 2nd favorite cat) can't be left alone for extended periods of time. So no dates.
Coming from the wilds of the Sierra Nevada, Laurel (or Snorrel as she is known to us) is a rough and tumble cowgirl with an attitude that is up for anything. She began skiing at a young age, following in the footsteps of her mother, Nancy, an olympian and national champion. She never let herself get too interested in skiing, and maintained a healthy breadth of athletic pursuits including surfing and rugby. Here at school, she is best known for beating Halie 83% of the time at HORSE, a record she attributes to her interest in basketball.
The story behind Snorrel's interesting nickname is a good one. It was September 25th, 2013, on a rainy Saturday. The team was readying themselves for a set of intervals, and Laurel wasn't present. This was a surprise to everyone, because Laurel is always on time, often selflessly helping others get ready for practice. This time, however, junior Nick Michaud deduced that she was napping instead of putting her boots on. It was quickly suggested that she was in fact snoring, a realization that prompted Nick to say "Lol Snorrel." And that's how she got her nickname.
Sadie James
Class of 2017, age 20Hometown: Avon, ME
Major: Psychology
Favorite Song: Boyz-n-the-Hood by Easy E
Dream Date: Brunch and apple picking
Sadie's a down to earth farm-girl, although you will never know it. She spent her childhood hiding Cosmo magazines in the milking barn, and sneaking the truck down to the mall to stock up on current fashion trends. Today, she can be spotted wearing J-Crew and Lulu Lemon. As such, it was a surprise to everyone when she was not only the sole member of the team correctly able to name how to birth a calve, but additionally the best at driving manual transmission (a skill she learned hauling hay in a tractor).
Sadie found an escape from the small town of Avon through her pursuit of skiing. Victories at the state and national stage propelled her into attending Bates and living in the relative metropolis of Lewiston. Today she is a consistent scoring member of the team, and specializes in classic distance races.
When asked where she sees herself in 10 years, Sadie replied "I don't know."
Halie Lange
Class of 2017, age 20Hometown: Brattleboro, VT
Major: Environmental Chemistry
Favorite Song: Photograph by Nickelback
Dream Date: T-Pain Concert with BAE
At the age of 9, Halie watched the movie Mean Girls in theaters. At that exact moment, her life found true meaning. Teaching herself soccer, makeup, and the art of looking bored, she was soon ready for the life of a popular high school girl. In her first soccer game, she established a reputation by breaking another girls leg. To date, she is the only member of the women's team to have beaten Corky in both the shuttle test and 40 yard dash.
Recently, she has toned down her high school persona, attending a Dungeons and Dragons group every other week where she plays a 7th level Orc Barbarian named Grok the One-Armed. From a skiing perspective, she has brought her experience leading group grapevine warmups to the collegiate level, and can often be heard encouraging the team before races with "big game today girls," and other soccer jargon.
Max Millslagle
Class of 2017, age 20Hometown: Bend, OR
Major: Global Environment and Social Change, History
Favorite Song: Dark Horse by Katy Perry
Dream Date: Anything as long as she's paying
The unchallenged Three Week Team Champion of the Blog, Max spends 90% of his time asking the rest of the team about their favorite songs and dream dates. The rest is spent wondering if writing in third person makes him sound pretentious. While some have accused him of being a "lazy bum" and "not NCAA compliant" for not taking classes during the skis season, Max has focused on his life goal of becoming an assistant coach. His current skills include incorrectly making wax picks, blogging, and Microsoft Word.
From an athletic standpoint, Max is resting on his high school laurels of being a member of three time Oregon State Band Champions the Summit Winds. Although he has lagged behind on playing trombone, the ability to count to four over and over again has helped him in numerous four lap races. When his mother was asked about his choice to come to Bates, she replied "Well the community college [in Bend] also has a Bobcat mascot and we think he got confused."
Nathan Moreau
Class of 2017, age 21Hometown: Falmouth, ME
Major: English, Classical and Medieval Studies
Favorite Song: Shake That by Eminem ft. Nate Dogg
Dream Date: Tea and book discussion
A contrast to his quiet and studious sister, Nate "Nate Dogg" Moreau is considered the bad boy of the team. He can most often be found sitting in the Frye House driveway working on his 1963 Honda CA72 Dream Motorcycle, upon which he will "totally dip out out of this joint" as soon as it is functional. Despite the rough exterior, Nate is a studious man, and has attended (by my calculations) 1,435% more time at Oxford than anyone else I know.
On the ski trail he can be recognized by his full, non-patchy beard, a fact that leaves many of the rest of the team feeling slightly inferior. Fortunately, he shaves twice a day so that we don't feel too bad. While he is a fully invested member of the team, Nate is rumored to moonlight as a freestyle rapper in the highly competitive Lewiston Underground.
Wade Rosko
Class of 2017, age 20Hometown: Breckenridge, CO
Major: Physics
Favorite Song: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
Dream Date: Rock climbing in the Mediterranean
Wade is a model citizen, having spent his childhood attaining his Eagle Scout in the great state of Colorado. As such, he is (nearly) always prepared and has bailed the team out on multiple occasions, procuring such items as duct tape, jumper cables, and a fully functional golf-cart seemingly out of nowhere. Often described as the "Best engineer Bates has to offer," Wade is chasing his lifelong dream of becoming an astronaut. Unlike literally every other member of the team he is not disqualified by his eyesight, criminal record, or future possession of a degree in the humanities.
But don't let his academic resume distract you, Wade has more abs than the rest of us combined. Literally. Although no one has ever seen him lifting weights, he still has the best body on campus, and even has a promising side career as an underwear model. His muscles serve him well on skis, and he can often be spotted double poling past the field up steep hills, or simply intimidating them into letting him by.
No comments:
Post a Comment